Pride is Easy to Choke On...

Not much to say at the moment, really. Work's going well, except that I was over an hour late today because I slept in to 7:40. Hopefully I can get a carpool set up, or possibly manage to threaten Scott into giving me rides, though I'd rather not. >_>;

Especially for when I finally move out later this month, most likely down to Riverside. One hour bus ride is hard enough to deal with, but two? That's going to kill me, seriously. I need a ride or my own car, somehow. If I can't get a carpool set up, I think I'll just have to swallow yet more pride, and throw more money out of my bank account, to get my license and bring the Intrepid up here. Yay, gas and insurance money?
Really, if it's really a hassle, I wouldn't mind paying for gas money, either, or perhaps paying for meals so often a week? I dunno.

Anyways, beyond that...I recently had to swallow my pride and beg my parents for some cash to help with this one last rent check. I dunno how I spent $20k over the course of a year, but I did...And I thus feel retarded. But, for now, I'm glad to have rent covered and to be eating something other than ramen (and drinking something other than tap water). We'll see how things go...

Now if only things could go better with Kitiy, as it seems things are rough between us at the moment. She's really the only reason I can find the motivation to go through with work and school and all...If I lose her somehow...it sounds stupid, and perhaps naive, but really I will lose sight of why I'm bothering to even live. I've never really had suicidal thoughts ever, but if anything were to drive me to it, that would be more than enough. :(
She's just that important to me. *sigh*

Eh...but enough rambling from a lovesick fool...I'm going to bed now and hoping not to sleep in again.
And, I guess...if Kitiy reads this: You're the only one I've found who seems capable of pulling me from my spiraling fate of decay, so...I hope you won't ever give up on this sad excuse of a man.