Important Thoughts

In some ways, today was a somewhat big day...momentous perhaps. In other ways, it was a nothing day...a simple day where a boy and girl spend their day together as best they can.

Well, the day started out rather dull. Take a shower, eat breakfast, get dressed, etc. Normal routine. I even played (or attempted, what with how the game doesn't like my video drivers) GalCiv 2 for a bit. It's a match I want to finish, because it's been pretty tough, what with two other civilizations declaring war on me much earlier than I was prepared for. Somehow I've been winning against them militarily, though my military is weaker.

Anyways, I played that for a while, before it finally crashed due to an "out of memory" error. Le sigh. I wish I could get that fixed and fully enjoy the game. About the time it crashed, Kitiy woke up and messaged me in Yahoo. We chatted for a bit, waiting for her folks to be ready to deal with us and play chauffeur. Eventually, around like...1pm I think, her dad finally showed up with Kitiy in tow. She came up to knock on my door and we hugged as usual, and off we went for our day.

The plan was for us to do some roller blading that day, and pay respects to Tramp, Kitiy's beloved feline companion throughout her life, recently lost. So, first, we went to a place where they sell fresh-cut flowers fairly cheaply. We got three bunches of flowers for only $10. One group of red roses, one of white tulips (or maybe it was white roses? I'm no flower expert) and one of mixed flowers (purples, yellows, various colors).

We went off to the house of Kitiy's mother in Tulsa (her dad and step-mom are in Broken Arrow) and paid our respects to Tramp. I never knew the cat, but if he was important to Kitiy, he's important to me, so I was there with her and helped her to arrange the flowers. She still wants to have him cremated, but her mother is against it...and it may even be too late for that now. It's been about two weeks, and I'm not sure what sort of time limit on cremation there is. At least we could do the flowers. That much helps a bit. I even took a photo of the grave with the flowers arranged all around it.

We then went off to the roller rink they have in Broken Arrow, although Kitiy wanted the one in Tulsa. We got there only about an hour before they would close, though (who the hell opens at 11am and then closes at 4pm?), so we decided to do it the next day instead. My last day here.

We ended up getting towed off to a couple of other shopping places with her dad as a result, including Lowe's I believe. We at least managed to get some washers for the collar we picked out, so now the studs should be able to fit. Maybe I'll do it myself tonight and wear it for her tomorrow. It looks like they'll be just right, too.

Well, we eventually got back to her place, after picking out a swimming top for her at Wal-mart. We had decided we could go swimming. Unfortunately, her neighborhood pool was closed, and her dad wasn't willing to take us anywhere else. So we gave up on that idea, (with a rather ticked-off Kitiy I should note about how the day was not going as planned at all), and went with sprinkler and water balloons (there were a lot left after all) for passing the time. It's not a bad way for lovers to spend time together at all, I think, though I would've preferred the roller rink. That way is less cold and less wet.

For dinner, her dad grilled burgers and hot dogs, and we had baked beans as a side. And soda from the fridge as drink, of course. It was a good dinner. Afterwards we played more with the water balloons, and generally had a good time getting each other wet. We even decided to be nice at one point and have an impromptu contest to see who could throw the water balloons farthest. It wasn't as easy as it sounds, as if you throw too hard, you might break the water balloon from squeezing it when you throw.

Anyways...yeah, it was a bit of a short day compared to other days. We did at one point go down to the neighborhood pool to make doubly sure that they were closed. Sadly, they were actually closed. After that we went into the bathroom to scrub to make sure we didn't get bitten by something called chiggers, which I've never heard of. According to Wikipedia, they're actually the larva of harvest mites, but whatever.

What happened afterwards...I'm still entirely sure what went on. There was some sort of tiff, it seems, between Kitiy and her step-mom...probably not even something too major. All I know is that it put Kitiy into a very bad mood very quickly, and her dad is certainly not of any help.

We'd changed and become remotely dry by that time, so we were sitting on her bed. I just kinda sat there holding her hand and listening to her rant and vent about how much she hates it there, not saying too much. Not just because of her step-mom, but her dad and mom, too. You know...to be completely honest, they're not even her real parents. She was adopted from birth, so...there are times when that is very much an issue brought to mind.

When she finished venting her steam...she just kinda collapsed onto the bed and started crying. There wasn't much I could do but to put my arms around her and hold her tight. I've only known her folks for a week....I've only seen a small glimpse of her home life for the past week, and even then, you know they're going to act slightly different when I'm around. But I can see why she hates it here still, and it's affected her this badly. She's broken down and crying when I'm not even sure what exactly happened. Some small tiff, from what I saw and heard, but maybe there was something more.

This...this is why I'm really here. I came up here to finally meet her, to have fun with her...but I'm mainly here because of this kind of pain that she's been going through. She barely has any friends, and none of them very close. She needs somebody like me to talk to and be close with, and I want to be there for her.

I'd been thinking heavily on all this stuff for so long...and I finally got around to putting into words, telling her myself. I told her I wouldn't mind going to live up there in Tulsa/BA for the next year, after my current lease ends. It would mean putting off college for a full year, rather than just the semester from academic dismissal, but she means more to me than any college degree. That's probably the sort of thing my parents might not understand, but it's the truth. Besides, in CS, the degree doesn't mean anything in comparison to experience.
I could get an apartment up in Tulsa, or possibly in BA (either one would work, considering she has homes in both places), and find some sort of hourly wage job to work at for a good year, while I spend my free time with her as much as possible, helping her through the last year of high school.

I know that's the kinda of thing she needs. Somebody to be there who won't judge like her parents will. They've apparently outright called her evil before, them being of Christian faith. I don't think it would be so bad, even, though I know my parents would be pissed about it. All they want from me lately is to finish college with super good grades and to get rich with a high-paying career job. Le sigh.

Well...you know...things kinda went like that for an hour, maybe longer. I don't even know how long. I just know I was there on her bed, holding her in my arms while she cried her heart out, comforting her the best I could. With her saying things, and me saying things. It was a lot more dramatic and emotional than I make it out to be, but I'm not good at detailing things so much.

I had an idea at some point...and I thought hard about it. It's actually a thought I've had for a long long time now...I've never really put too much stock into it, but...it's always been there in the back of my mind. I told her then that...if she wanted to run away from her folks, I'd be willing to help. All she'd need to do is give me a call. I'd go up to her right away, be it Greyhound or some other method, and be there as fast as possible to help her. I would drop everything to do that and not care. All that would matter is that she'd need me.
And...from there, I told her I'd take her with me if she really seriously wants to run away from her folks. It sounds like one of those things you say when some very intense emotions are flying around and it just bursts out, but I really did mean it, and I still do. It would mean a very hard life, among other things, but I'd go through with it for her, whatever it takes.

I would even be willing to take her back home with me tomorrow, if she really wanted. It's something that would worry me so very much, and I'd be very nervous in doing it...and I could be made out to be a pedophile or kidnapper or something as bad with very little effort on the part of her folks, as untrue as that is. I dunno what she would do about her senior year of high school if she did such a thing, but I'd go through anything for her. I think...I think even some of my friends would be willing to help us, if it came to such. At least I would hope so.

I'm being serious about all of this. I'm a bit shocked at my conviction myself...it's just that, after this week with her, finally meeting her after all these years between us...I know she's the one for me, and she says she feels the exact same way. I know...she's still a 17-year-old girl who might not be entirely in her right mind, but such is the way of things. I'd do anything to help her get through things in life, and if that means helping her run away from home, I will do it.

I'm sure some of you are kinda surprised by these things. It's not like I told many people about this girl that I care for so much in all this time. But it's true...we've only met about a week ago, in person, but we've known each other for so long, we've talked so much for so many years, through mic and long distance phone calls and IMs...we've been through a lot, and we're already so very close to each other after only having seen each other physically for a week or so. Hell...I'd propose to her if she was old enough to marry, and I know she'd say yes. It's just that strong of a relationship.

A part of me hopes it doesn't come to her running away with me...but another part of me would welcome it. The first part is probably the part of me that worries, and tries to think about how things *should* be done. The way things would go if everything was ideal. The second part is probably the part of me that loves her and cares about her...a part that's probably thinking that everything would be better just because she and I would finally be together, even if not in the best of circumstances, and finally away from that household of pain centering around her parents.

It seems to me that she and I have a lot of thinking to do...and I hope we both come to the right decisions...whatever those may be.