Well, I could've mentioned this earlier, but it seems that Kitiy finally has a new computer over at her mother's house. This means we can chat daily instead of sporadically. This is a good thing, that makes both of us very happy.
Unfortunately, I spend a lot of time offline, the case being that I usually spend all day on campus. The time she gets home from school, I think, is around the time my buds get off their classes and go down to the basement, and when I'm free for some social gaming or just general hanging out, so I typically don't get online. Besides, I'd rather not have somebody reading our chat over my shoulder.
It wouldn't be so bad if my Sundays weren't taken up by refereeing (I still can't find the right verb for it...) soccer games all day. Sure, it's nice to get a good $66 to spend on food, say at Which Wich or Kerbey Lane or some other place to eat out at, rather than relying on turkey sandwiches and ramen (the only meal-like food I ever bother to get from HEB), but it takes up half my weekend. And Sunday is typically when assignments for my coding class are due. And I also have an assignment due Monday for another class, coding in assembly. I'm sorely tempted to say that I just don't have the time to referee on weekends, the case being that Sunday is a day I tend to devote to studying and homework. Which, relatively speaking, is true.
I should try logging on more often.
I should buy some TV dinners from HEB.
I really should check my e-mail more often, like I used to.
I really should try studying harder.
I really should put more effort into my classwork.
I *really* should get a job. (though I do try, I guess I don't try hard enough)
I should stop being so lazy, get off my arse, and do things right.
There are too many 'should's in my life. T_T
10/27/2006
10/08/2006
Big cats...REALLY big cats...
You know, for some reason, I found myself thinking about tigers earlier. People, when they usually think of a tiger, think of the big, ferocious predator with sharp teeth that could snap a man in half. Or maybe they're not that strong...that may have been the sabertooth. Anyways, you get my point.
I think people forget that tigers, in the end, are just really big cats. They act very much like house cats, except that some types of tigers, and in fact most, actually enjoy swimming and have a vocal that's nothing like a meow. And they're probably much more territorial.
And if there's one thing we all know about cats...it's that they're pretty damn lazy. Unless they get hungry or thirsty or have some basic need for survival, they'd be fully content with lounging in their favorite spot, be it a sunny rock to keep them warm or a cool cave to stem off the wave of oppressive heat. Yeah, sure, they are killing machines, but they're so lethargic. They'd much rather conserve energy than spend it.
It seems I'm much like them. I am pretty damn lethargic. I don't think anybody would disagree. I've noticed lately, as well, that when I get anxious or impatient, I pace, if I am able at the time. I'm also more prone to playing than working. I guess my place in the Chinese zodiac is the correct one. Much more fitting than the American version, where I'm a scorpion. Because I'm nothing like a scorpion.
Of course, this applies to the other big cats as well...I just have a preference for tigers over, say, leopards or panthers or lions.
I think people forget that tigers, in the end, are just really big cats. They act very much like house cats, except that some types of tigers, and in fact most, actually enjoy swimming and have a vocal that's nothing like a meow. And they're probably much more territorial.
And if there's one thing we all know about cats...it's that they're pretty damn lazy. Unless they get hungry or thirsty or have some basic need for survival, they'd be fully content with lounging in their favorite spot, be it a sunny rock to keep them warm or a cool cave to stem off the wave of oppressive heat. Yeah, sure, they are killing machines, but they're so lethargic. They'd much rather conserve energy than spend it.
It seems I'm much like them. I am pretty damn lethargic. I don't think anybody would disagree. I've noticed lately, as well, that when I get anxious or impatient, I pace, if I am able at the time. I'm also more prone to playing than working. I guess my place in the Chinese zodiac is the correct one. Much more fitting than the American version, where I'm a scorpion. Because I'm nothing like a scorpion.
Of course, this applies to the other big cats as well...I just have a preference for tigers over, say, leopards or panthers or lions.
10/03/2006
What is love?
Everybody over the centuries has struggled with this question. Some people come up with answers, which may or may not be right, but nobody really defines love. Certainly, no attempt at a true comprehensive definition has ever stuck with the generations. After all, people still struggle with it. It could be that love is different for everybody, so there is no general comprehensive definition.
Well, I think I think I would like to attempt, for one that at least applies to me.
First, and most obvious, love is rather complex. You cannot define love in a concise manner. Many people will agree that there are different kinds of love. You love your parents differently than you love your siblings differently than you love your spouse differently than you love your friends...I think you get the idea. I think most people can easily describe almost every single one of those different loves. Most people will say they love their parents (if they do, that is, as some people do hate their parents; I know some) because their parents raised them, put spent their own time and resources to care for this person of their own flesh and blood. People love their siblings (and will never admit to it) because they grew up with their siblings, learned many important lessons of life from them, shared good and bad times with them. I could go on.
I think when people ask "What is love?" they have trouble with one particular type. That is, what is that love that young people so desperately yearn for? It's tough to even say what type it is. Let's just call it "true love" for our purposes here.
At the very basic of this love, most definitely, is lust. Everybody knows and acknowledges this, to some degree. Some people will argue love is just lust in a civilised form, but I disagree. A part of this yearning is for another person to bear children with. When we're in our teens and going through puberty, and sometimes on into college, the thing we primarily look for in a lover is sex appeal. Are they attractive? Are they good in bed? Is their body type what you're looking for? That sort of thing. That's the first thing we start searching for because we don't really start searching until then. It's why we all make mistakes early in our loves in mistaking lust for love.
But, once we start searching beyond that...that's where people fail in defining love.
From there...it seems as though what we really search for is understanding. We search for somebody who we can completely understand and comprehend, and where it's mutual. It's pretty much the only way I can really describe it. You look for the person who you connect with so well, no matter how different you are, that you accept their differences and even love them for those differences. This is the person you feel so comfortable with you want to spend the rest of your life with.
Am I clear enough, or am I being confusing? I can't tell, honestly, because the idea is perfectly formed in my head and I'm having trouble translating.
I've recently realized that this is why I love LJ so much and why she loves me so much. Although we're so different from each other, we understand each other and don't mind the differences. I know that I wouldn't have her be any different. Sure, I could have the perfect example of a good christian girl, which most people would say is a good match for me, but I'd rather have LJ. She is *the* match for me. It's something I've been trying to figure out: why is she *the* one for me? All I know, knew rather, is that she is the one. Never did have a reason. I think I finally have one, and that's why I think this is what love is
Two people who are in such complete understanding of each other, they even love each other's faults. Even if they get in a fight, or complain about each other, or something to that level, they're loving each other in doing it. They don't feel any real hate in what appears to be negative interaction. They worry about each other over the simplest things and want, more than anything in the world, for the other person to be happy. If they're sad, you're sad because you don't want them to be sad. If they're angry, you either feel bad (if they're angry at you) or you also feel angry (at whoever they're angry at) or you try to calm their anger (maybe it's some irrational anger, you never know). It's funny to describe this because I know, deep down, you who are reading this know exactly what I mean and don't see it as anything new. The person who will ultimately be *the* one for you will be the one you...there's just no word for it. "Get along with" just isn't strong enough. "Connect," perhaps, but that doesn't feel strong enough either. But whatever that word is, you (that word) with *the* one more than anybody else in the world.
I think I've gotten my point across. Complete understanding, completely comfortable with each other's character traits...all that. And, if you read close enough, you will realize: yeah, that can only apply to *the* one. It can't apply to friends, parents, siblings...just that one person. I think it defines true love fairly well.
Well, I think I think I would like to attempt, for one that at least applies to me.
First, and most obvious, love is rather complex. You cannot define love in a concise manner. Many people will agree that there are different kinds of love. You love your parents differently than you love your siblings differently than you love your spouse differently than you love your friends...I think you get the idea. I think most people can easily describe almost every single one of those different loves. Most people will say they love their parents (if they do, that is, as some people do hate their parents; I know some) because their parents raised them, put spent their own time and resources to care for this person of their own flesh and blood. People love their siblings (and will never admit to it) because they grew up with their siblings, learned many important lessons of life from them, shared good and bad times with them. I could go on.
I think when people ask "What is love?" they have trouble with one particular type. That is, what is that love that young people so desperately yearn for? It's tough to even say what type it is. Let's just call it "true love" for our purposes here.
At the very basic of this love, most definitely, is lust. Everybody knows and acknowledges this, to some degree. Some people will argue love is just lust in a civilised form, but I disagree. A part of this yearning is for another person to bear children with. When we're in our teens and going through puberty, and sometimes on into college, the thing we primarily look for in a lover is sex appeal. Are they attractive? Are they good in bed? Is their body type what you're looking for? That sort of thing. That's the first thing we start searching for because we don't really start searching until then. It's why we all make mistakes early in our loves in mistaking lust for love.
But, once we start searching beyond that...that's where people fail in defining love.
From there...it seems as though what we really search for is understanding. We search for somebody who we can completely understand and comprehend, and where it's mutual. It's pretty much the only way I can really describe it. You look for the person who you connect with so well, no matter how different you are, that you accept their differences and even love them for those differences. This is the person you feel so comfortable with you want to spend the rest of your life with.
Am I clear enough, or am I being confusing? I can't tell, honestly, because the idea is perfectly formed in my head and I'm having trouble translating.
I've recently realized that this is why I love LJ so much and why she loves me so much. Although we're so different from each other, we understand each other and don't mind the differences. I know that I wouldn't have her be any different. Sure, I could have the perfect example of a good christian girl, which most people would say is a good match for me, but I'd rather have LJ. She is *the* match for me. It's something I've been trying to figure out: why is she *the* one for me? All I know, knew rather, is that she is the one. Never did have a reason. I think I finally have one, and that's why I think this is what love is
Two people who are in such complete understanding of each other, they even love each other's faults. Even if they get in a fight, or complain about each other, or something to that level, they're loving each other in doing it. They don't feel any real hate in what appears to be negative interaction. They worry about each other over the simplest things and want, more than anything in the world, for the other person to be happy. If they're sad, you're sad because you don't want them to be sad. If they're angry, you either feel bad (if they're angry at you) or you also feel angry (at whoever they're angry at) or you try to calm their anger (maybe it's some irrational anger, you never know). It's funny to describe this because I know, deep down, you who are reading this know exactly what I mean and don't see it as anything new. The person who will ultimately be *the* one for you will be the one you...there's just no word for it. "Get along with" just isn't strong enough. "Connect," perhaps, but that doesn't feel strong enough either. But whatever that word is, you (that word) with *the* one more than anybody else in the world.
I think I've gotten my point across. Complete understanding, completely comfortable with each other's character traits...all that. And, if you read close enough, you will realize: yeah, that can only apply to *the* one. It can't apply to friends, parents, siblings...just that one person. I think it defines true love fairly well.
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